Grace & Grit

Grace and Grit – Ken Wilber

In 1983, the philosopher Ken Wilber met Terry Killam, and within weeks they knew they wanted to spend their lives together. They married four months later. But just ten days after their wedding, Terry, who later changed her name to Treya, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber tells the story of their five-year journey through her illness until her death.

The book combines Ken’s narrative with extensive excerpts from Treya’s journals, in which she wrote with honesty and insight about her experiences, her fears and her spiritual growth. Together, they describe the many treatments Treya underwent, including surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, as well as the alternative therapies she explored, and the difficult decisions they faced as the cancer recurred.

The book is also a profound exploration of love and spirituality. Ken describes the strain that caring for Treya placed on him and on their marriage, his struggles with anger and depression, and how both of them grew through the experience. Treya’s journals reveal her journey toward acceptance, equanimity and a deep spiritual practice, including meditation, and her search for the balance between grace, letting go, and grit, the will to fight.

Woven into the story are Ken’s reflections on the world’s spiritual traditions, the relationship between mind and body in illness, and the questions people face when confronting serious disease and death.

Moving, honest and thoughtful, Grace and Grit is a powerful read for those facing illness, caregivers, and anyone interested in love, spirituality and meaning. It is not a source of medical advice, and readers should consult their doctors about treatment.