Your Inner Child of the Past

Your Inner Child of the Past – Hugh Missildine

Many adults are puzzled by their own reactions: why they feel anxious in certain situations, why they are overly critical of themselves, why they struggle in relationships or why they repeat patterns they wish they could change. Psychiatrist W. Hugh Missildine, in his classic book Your Inner Child of the Past, first published in 1963, offers an explanation: each of us carries within us the feelings and attitudes of the child we once were, shaped by the way our parents treated us.

Missildine argues that the inner child of the past continues to influence adult life, and that many emotional problems arise from the attitudes parents adopted toward their children, which children then internalize and continue to apply to themselves as adults. He describes a series of common parental attitudes and their effects, including perfectionism, overcoercion, oversubmission, overindulgence, hypochondriasis, punitiveness, neglect, rejection and sexual stimulation, and explains how each can lead to characteristic adult difficulties, such as chronic self-criticism, procrastination, impulsiveness, worry about health, guilt or a sense of not belonging.

The book’s central idea is that adults can learn to recognize the inner child’s feelings and attitudes, accept them without being controlled by them, and become a kind and firm parent to themselves, setting limits while treating themselves with respect and understanding. Missildine also discusses how these patterns affect marriages and relationships, as partners’ inner children interact.

Written in clear, accessible language with many case examples, the book was influential in popularizing the concept of the inner child, later developed by many other writers and therapists.

Your Inner Child of the Past will appeal to readers interested in psychology and self-understanding. Some ideas and terminology reflect its era, and it is not a substitute for professional help.