Boundaries in Marriage

Boundaries in Marriage – Henry Cloud

Marriage brings two separate people together in an intimate and lifelong partnership, and that closeness can bring both great joy and great conflict. Christian psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend, authors of the bestselling Boundaries, argue that healthy boundaries are essential to a loving marriage. In Boundaries in Marriage, they explain how couples can protect their relationship and grow closer by understanding what each partner is responsible for.

Boundaries, the authors explain, are like property lines that define where one person ends and another begins. In marriage, they help each spouse take ownership of their own feelings, attitudes, choices and behaviors rather than trying to control the other person. Contrary to what some fear, the authors argue that boundaries do not create distance, but make real love and intimacy possible.

The book applies the laws of boundaries to marriage and discusses the values that support a strong relationship, such as love, honesty, faithfulness, compassion, forgiveness and holiness. Cloud and Townsend explore common sources of conflict, including situations where one spouse creates the problem and those where both contribute, and offer practical guidance on resolving them. They also address how to set boundaries with intruders such as work, in-laws, friends and children, and how to avoid misusing boundaries to punish or control.

Practical and grounded in Christian faith, Boundaries in Marriage is a helpful resource for couples, engaged partners and counselors. It is not a substitute for professional or specialized help in situations of abuse or danger.