Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills

Positive Discipline – Jane Nelsen

Many parents and teachers feel stuck between two unsatisfying approaches to discipline: being too strict, relying on punishment and control, or being too permissive, avoiding conflict and letting children do as they please. Educator and family therapist Jane Nelsen offers a third way in Positive Discipline, which has become one of the most widely used guides for raising responsible, respectful and resourceful children.

Based on the work of psychiatrists Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, Positive Discipline rests on the idea that children behave best when they feel a sense of belonging and significance. Nelsen argues that discipline should be both kind and firm at the same time: kind to show respect for the child, and firm to show respect for the situation and the needs of others.

She explains that a misbehaving child is often a discouraged child, and describes common mistaken goals behind misbehavior, such as seeking undue attention, power, revenge, or giving up. Understanding these goals helps adults respond more effectively. Rather than relying on punishment or rewards, Positive Discipline teaches long-term life skills through methods such as encouragement, natural and logical consequences, focusing on solutions, joint problem solving, follow-through and regular family meetings or class meetings, in which children help solve problems.

The book offers practical tools and examples for situations such as bedtime, chores, sibling fights and homework, and includes guidance for teachers.

Encouraging and practical, Positive Discipline is a valuable resource for parents, teachers and caregivers seeking respectful, effective approaches to guiding children. Content varies by edition.